A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, Marshall Lawless started off behind the jam line with TW co-captain Jeneral Strike; Lawless took the Death Stars to an early lead in jam 1 which ended 4-5 in favour of the Empire. The power of the dark side was evident again in jam 2, with Bruise Missile taking lead over Sarah McGettigan and calling it at 4-13. The third jam ended 7-13, and Sarah McMillan put some primordial pressure on the DS in jam 4 against Stripey; 11-13. The Death Stars pulled further ahead in jam 4 which finished 13-18 but the tide turned in favour of prehistory in jam 5: with Five Star Sylk sent to the bin, McGettigan seized lead for the TW and took full advantage of the power jam; lead change 38-18. The T-Wrecks' other guest Spin Diesel jammed next, against Bruise, and both scored points, taking it to 53-23. McMillan demonstrated the dominance of an apex predator in jam 8, ending at 62-23.
Following an official review, Strike took on Bruise for a few points each: 66-27. In jam 10, Lawless came tantalisingly close to getting lead, but cut track and got sent to the penalty box leaving Spin free to take lead and score points - despite being accidentally blocked by her teammate Puma Thurman! 72-36. Another official review, which wasn't upheld, preceded jam 11 in which TW's Nitrojen was sent off and lead jammer Stripey was made to earn every last point, calling it at a palindromic 74-47. In jam 12, Sylk took the lead against McMillan - the crowd went wild, but she was only able to add one point to the Death Stars' total, leaving the scoreline 74-48. The following jam ended with no-one gaining points as Bruise took lead but was nearly overtaken by Strike forcing her to call it. Phoenix Fatale landed a punishing hit on McGettigan in jam 14; the latter was then taken backwards round the track by Lawless jamming for DS, leaving a lot of people uncertain as to where she should re-enter the track on her minus-one pass. The confusion ended with the half time score static at 74-48.
Though the T-Wrecks maintained their lead for much of the first half, everyone was well aware that this could still be anyone's game with only 26 points between the teams. One good jam could change it all! McGettigan took the first jam of the half for TW against Bruise and was quickly sent off for a penalty. Bruise made it through the pack for lead jammer status, just as McGettigan re-entered the track, but was sent straight back off for cutting. 74-63. The dinosaurs started to feel the nerves as jam 2 opened as a power jam for Lawless who easily took lead - the TW star was passed to Strike and the jam ended 82-79.
Another official review to keep the officials on their toes was followed by jam 3, with a cameo from DS captain Haberbashery wearing her team's star. She took the lead but was then sent to the bin for a penalty; Strike made the Death Stars pay in the power jam, which ended 97-80. Spin jammed in the fourth but was dominated by Sylk's defense, 110-101. Jam 5 was a power jam for McMillan who then cut track, leaving it open for Bruise to score an easy few for the Death Stars, but McMillan brought it back with an apex jump - 123-110. Sylk took the lead in jam 6 against Strike but called it quickly for zero points all round. McMillan faced guest skater Stripey in number seven and dominated for the dinosaurs, 133-112.
Jam 8 took a while to warm up, with Lawless jamming for the DS eventually taking lead, but she was then overtaken by Strike who managed to score a few. 143-117. Strike jammed again in the ninth against Sylk; the former ended up in the penalty box but Sylk struggled to make her pay and the jam ended 143-118. Jam 10 then saw Bruise sent off early on for a back block, leaving a power jam for Puma who struggled against some awesome defense and was knocked off the inside twice and taken back. An exasperated Puma star passed to TW co-captain Shona Mercy who managed to score some; the jam ended 148-126.
The Death Stars then called a team timeout, presumably to discuss whether or not the prequels should really be considered part of the Star Wars franchise or if we should just never talk about them again. The debate clearly re-energised Lawless, who blasted through the pack in jam 11 against McMillan, but was then contained by the T-Wrecks' defense and called it 157-135.
Not wanting to feel left out, the T-Wrecks called a team timeout to consider the relative evolutionary disadvantage of having such tiny arms but concluded that size isn't everything. The twelfth and final jam of the game pitted Lawless against infrequent jammer Cara Viola - Lawless made it through first, but with a no-pass-no-penalty, leaving Cara to take lead jammer and, once time had expired, call off the jam for a T-Wrecks victory!
Final score: T-Wrecks 157 - 143 Death Stars