Game Report: Winterfell WItches vs Quantum Leap & Vagine Regime vs Soy Division

We've been a bit quiet on the game front since our league summer break and that ill-fated day in Edinburgh, but never fear for this Saturday GRD played host to not one but two wonderful games of roller derby. I'm even going to tell you about them!

First of all, however, you should know that this Saturday, the Maiden Grrders will be up in Aberdeen to take on Tier 4 North champions, Granite City Roller Derby's Northern Fights. For more information, check out the Facebook event. We'd love to see you there! And if you can't make that, check out our Events Calendar for an upcoming Irn Bruisers game in Newcastle, the continuation of our Home Teams Season and a wee musical fundraiser featuring that tiny blur on rollerskates, Jess E Ska.

 Poster for the Pride weekend doubleheader, photo courtesy of Claire Brand.

Poster for the Pride weekend doubleheader, photo courtesy of Claire Brand.

Game 1: Quantum Leap (Team Science) vs Winterfell Witches (Team Magic/fantasy)

Since ancient times there has been tension between the rational, enlightened forces of science and the mysterious, otherworldly powers of magic. What better way to figure out who's right than a game of roller derby? Featuring mixed-level skaters from GRD, Auld Reekie Roller Girls, Ayrshire Roller Derby, Doonhame Roller Derby, and Mean City Roller Derby, including some newbies (here's looking at you, Fock Her, Fury L Spark and Poe Slameron!), we took to quad skates to decide the matter once and for all.

Wands were drawn, test tubes rattled and we were soon under way with not much to tell between the fantastical creatures and number-crunching boffins for the first few jams. Soon, however, either the fumes or some fairy curse must have got to our trusty nerds and the wizarding wonders started to pull ahead. By half time the score was 158-62 in favour of the magicians.

The white-coated wonders reapplied their safety goggles while the wily witches brought out their brooms and the whistle denoting the start of the second half was blown. Everyone's favourite defenders of reason fought valiantly FOR SCIENCE! but their devilish opponents were just as determined. Ultimately the Westerosi gave Quantum Leap's geeks a massive wedgie and stole their dinner money (which, given the usual consequence of failure in Westeros, means they got off lightly tbh).

 Scientists Stargrazer & Bambo taking on the magical Jess Little. Photo courtesy of Dave McAleavy, boutday.com.

Scientists Stargrazer & Bambo taking on the magical Jess Little. Photo courtesy of Dave McAleavy, boutday.com.

Final score: Quantum Leap 121 - 319 Winterfell Witches

So it would appear that Santa is real, the Easter Bunny exists and all that nonsense about quantum physics was dreamed up by some bored lab techs after ingesting too much of something mind-altering.

Awards:

Quantum Leap
Best Blocker: Velosidy 16
Best Jammer: Fury L Spark 64
MVP: Fury Eyes Only 007

Winterfell Witches
Best Blocker: Sadie O'Hades 311
Best Jammer: Hardcore 24
MVP: Jess Little 7

Game 2: Vagine Regime vs Soy Division

Rumour has it that there was a rainbow in Glasgow on Saturday, and its end was at the ARC sports centre. It's either that or we had Vagine Regime to visit on the day of the Glasgow Pride march and they brought the most spectacular multi-coloured helmet covers you ever did see, in an attempt to dazzle their plant-powered opponents, Soy Division.

It was also lovely to see and hear the fantastic Jeneral Strike and her new bionic limb, as one half of a formidable announcing partnership with fellow Irn Bruiser Siobhan Sinclair.

In the first jam, Vagine Regime's captain Inky Minx showed that she meant business and took lead jammer status, calling it for four points. Sarah McMillan for Soy made it out of the pack first in the following jam but a no pass/no penalty call allowed VR's Hoots to become lead and she took full advantage, with the score 12-8 in VR's favour by the time she called it. Both teams experimented with their tactics to find their opponent's weaknesses, with some lovely offence off the jam line from VR. The third jam saw SD pull ahead due to a power jam, with Hazzard jamming to end it 16-17 to Soy.

 Wrath and Rosie Peacock with their eyes on the prize while Sarah McMIllan sneaks by for some offense. Photo courtesy of Dave McAleavy, boutday.com.

Wrath and Rosie Peacock with their eyes on the prize while Sarah McMIllan sneaks by for some offense. Photo courtesy of Dave McAleavy, boutday.com.

Unfortunately, an illegal star pass saw Phoenix sent to the penalty box for SD at the end of the following jam and VR's Catashtrophe capitalised, pulling ahead to end the fifth jam 55-17 to VR. Soy fought back hard, with some tactical calls to reduce the damage from VR and some lovely defensive walls including a powerful Phoenix/Collie combo that troubled Catashtrophe for some time.

Some really strong jamming from VR mixed with powerful blocking allowed them to pull ahead further across the first half, though that isn't to say that Soy were passive. A cracking apex jump from Soy's captain Sable, while VR's Rosie Peacock watched wistfully from the penalty box, made the audience sit up and pay attention but the points just kept coming for our en-rainbowed guests. Each team called for an official review but not even Soy's upheld review was able to turn the tide for them.

Despite some clever play, VR stretched out their lead over the first half, ending it 141-56 to VR.

Pumped up on kale and equal rights respectively, Soy and VR meant business in the first jam of the second half. With Catashtrophe jamming for VR and Postlewaight for Soy, Rosie Peacock saw the opportunity for a punishing offense and pulled the Soy jammer back, meanwhile Inky Minx did some good work to let her jammer sail past the opposition. The jam ended with Catashtrophe racking up an impressive 31 points, leaving it at 172-56.

VR kept the pressure on and pulled further ahead. By the end of the twelfth jam, which saw Sarah McMillan take lead jammer over Rosie Peacock with some lovely footwork up the outside line, the score stood at 193-78 with Soy's chances of clawing it back disappearing by the moment. At this point, VR called a team timeout which gave everyone a chance to collect their thoughts.

Clearly whatever was said to VR during the timeout did the trick and they became even more dominant. During jam 14, Catashtrophe managed to score an impressive 44 points surely pulling VR into an insurmountable lead with 241 points to Soy's 79. In jam 18, Soy managed to break the 100-point barrier with a Sarah McMillan jam featuring an apex jump described by the announcers as 'beautiful'.

Not to be outdone, VR send Rosie Peacock on in the very next jam in which she is noted to perform some interpretive dance before a huge hit and recycle to wear down the jammer, Sable. Presumably confused as to whether she was actually playing roller derby or featuring in some avant garde Fringe show, Sable passed the panty to Sylk but the jam came to an end almost immediately with the score 258-104.

In jam 23, the last of the game, Sable and Catashtrophe line up together behind the jam line once more. Catashtrophe plays a bit of fifth blocker to hold the Soy jammer at bay while giving time for the two VR blockers to get out of the penalty box, and then she disappears into the distance with a magnificent backwards spin through the pack. She makes it look easy, breeazing past some really brilliant defence and at the final whistle Vagine Regime's victory is confirmed.

Final score: Vagine Regime 291 - 108 Soy Division

 A veritable rainbow of officials, both on- and off-skates. Photo courtesy of Dave McAleavy, boutday.com.

A veritable rainbow of officials, both on- and off-skates. Photo courtesy of Dave McAleavy, boutday.com.

If you were in attendance you may have noticed something a little unusual about our referees and NSOs (more than normal, I mean). For one day only our zebras and flamingoes eschewed their standard colours and went more than a little bit rainbow in honour of Pride - and they looked fantastic! Thanks, as always, to every single one of them as without them these games couldn't happen.

Awards:

Vagine Regime
Best Blocker: Slappedash 190
Best Jammer: Catashtrophe 663
MVP: Rosie Peacock 50

Soy Division
Best Blocker: Drama Bomb 000
Best Jammer: Sarah McMillan 7
MVP: Sable v20

I would also like to thank everyone who came along to give us their support, all of our volunteers whose hard work made the day run smoothly and the EMTs who are always on hand with a smile and some expert first aid skills as needed.

What We Did On Our Holidays

Now that Scottish schools are back in session it seems like summer is well and truly over. 'What summer?!' I hear you cry. Well, yes, in typical Scottish fashion there was little by way of good weather, but here at GRD we don't let the miserable temperatures get us down! 

Every year we have a short break from derby activity for a fortnight to give our muscles some well-deserved time off. This year we took a break in June, though a few of our members were still in training for the very exciting Team Scotland try outs! Seven of our talented skaters made it to the training squad as the result of their great performances and we couldn't be prouder of them! 

We also had some derby adventures away from home this summer as there was the epic London versus Gotham game which took place on the 26th of June. Several GRDers travelled down to the big smoke to watch the game and also took part in a bootcamp coached by some of their skating heroes. 

It wasn't just our skaters who were busy though, our very talented Head NSO Sharizard spent her summer holding her very first solo show of her art 'Uncharted Stillness' in Whiteinch Library. It ran for a month and was a huge success with Shari able to show her work and even make some sales of her excellent pieces. You can read all about the show and her work on Shari's blog.

 Uncharted Stillness, at Whiteinch Library. Photo courtesy of Shari.

Uncharted Stillness, at Whiteinch Library. Photo courtesy of Shari.

Also in July one of our referees, Feminist Killjoy, visited the nice folk down in Middlesborough Milk Rollers to pass on some of their rules knowledge to their newest intake of skaters. MMR posted a great picture on their Instagram page with their thanks to Freya for sharing their expertise! 

Away from the track we've been out in the great outdoors on some derby dog walks! 

 L-R: Grissom and Fry, Mad Natter, Reuben, Jess E Ska, Danny E Ska, Twain. 

L-R: Grissom and Fry, Mad Natter, Reuben, Jess E Ska, Danny E Ska, Twain. 

Hadrian's Brawl was out and about exploring when she found a cool outdoor space that used to be used as a roller rink when her mum and dad were courting! Pretty different to the tracks we're used to now...

Of course we've also been training hard in preparation for our next games. August is a really busy month for us with GRD's Big Weekend featuring the VRUK vs Soy Division and Team Magic vs Team Science game, our third Queeriosity event as well as our new intake of Glasgow Roller Recruits all over two days! Our Maiden Grrrders are also playing against Aberdeen's Granite City next weekend and we've got Bruisers and Home Teams games lined up for September too. In preparation for this we were visited by LRG's excellent Juke Boxx and Ballistic Whistle for a training session where we worked on our jam starts and some blocking skills.

In fact we crammed so much into this summer that we think we need a holiday to recover! 

There's no rest for the wicked though, we're really looking forward to having a busy few months on and off the track. If you want to join us you can check out all our upcoming dates on our events calendar here on the website or via our Facebook page. You can also sign up to our mailing list using the link on the sidebar to make sure you never miss an update. We hope to see you soon! 

Queeriosity 3

Queeriosity is GRD's very own club night. It's the brainchild of current Irn Bruiser's co-captain Lindsey Watson (though you may know her better as Haberbashery #40).

 Prawn & Habs on their DJing debut. 

Prawn & Habs on their DJing debut. 

With the third Queeriosity fast approaching to tie in with the Science vs Magic and Vagine Regime vs Soy Division games on 20th August (get your tickets here), I caught up with Habs to find out more.

 

  • Hi Habs! So, tell me: just what is Queeriosity? What's it all about?

Hi! Well, Queeriosity is an inclusive club night aimed at anyone who wants to have a nice time while enabling others to have a nice time too! Everyone is welcome at Queeriosity as long as they are respectful of others. You definitely don't have to identify as queer to enjoy the night.......but it helps ;)

  • Where did you get the idea from to start your own club night and what makes it different to the rest?

While GRD has always worked really hard to raise funds for travelling to competitions, I wanted a more sustainable way to raise funds and raise awareness of our league. Roller derby has always had inclusiveness at its heart and I thought, "what says roller derby more than a bunch of queers having a great time to some amazing tunes?!"

Something that I've always found strange is that a lot of gay clubs or queer nights play only one kind of music. I wanted Queeriosity to be the name of the night but with different themes throughout the year (our last one was 90s night).

It's also been scheduled early enough that it could either be the start of a great night and at the end you can head off to somewhere else awesome (we're trying to do it on the same night as Push It, Glasgow's premier queer club night) or it's so good that you don't feel like you're missing out if you go home when Queeriosity finishes at midnight!

 Our astounding lip sync competition hosts, Freya & Hamish. 

Our astounding lip sync competition hosts, Freya & Hamish. 

  • What's your favourite Queeriosity moment/memory?

OOOOHHHHHHHH good question! It's so difficult! I always have the best time! And two out of three so far have been on my birthday so it's normally extra special!

If I had to pick it would probably be the last one. It was a 90s night and I was DJing with my partner in crime Prawn (a former Irn Bruisers jammer and all-round good guy). We were new to DJing so kept getting too excited about dancing and kept missing our cue to start the next track!

  • And what's the next step in the big Queeriosity plan?

As you can imagine, Queeriosity loves dressing up so we've got a BIG Halloween night planned! It's happening on October 29th and will feature the usual great tunes, great drink offers, some lip synching and best dressed prizes!

  • Finally, why should everyone buy their tickets and come along on 20th August?

Well, it's Glasgow's Pride, we have the ever-dapper DJ Future Fight throwing out some amazing bangers, cheap booze (£2 for a spirit and mixer!) and I'LL BE THERE! Lets go dancing!


Queeriosity will take place on 20th August at Garnethill Multicultural Centre, following two awesome roller derby games earlier in the day (event info here). From previous experience there will be sparkles, dancing, possibly someone dressed as a vulva and most definitely the best time of your life!

 Belle from Beauty & The Beast, Heather & an orange Lycra unicorn. Because Queeriosity {there is, however, no obligation to come as a mystical creature unless you wish to do so} 

Belle from Beauty & The Beast, Heather & an orange Lycra unicorn. Because Queeriosity {there is, however, no obligation to come as a mystical creature unless you wish to do so} 

Game Report: ARRG Allstars vs GRD Irn Bruisers

Yesterday the Irn Bruisers went through to the Meadowbank Sports Centre in Edinburgh to visit our friends and rivals Auld Reekie. The first game of the day saw ARRG's new All Star Rookies (ASTROs) take to the track against Dundee's Bonnie Colliders. The game finished with a very respectable win for Dundee, final score ARRG 166-220 DRG. 

After a short intermission GRD's Irn Bruisers took to the jam line against ARRG's All Stars. Unfortunately a few minutes into the first half one of our skaters suffered an injury on track and the game was stopped while she received medical assistance. Shortly afterwards it was decided that the game would be called off while the skater was seen to. 

Despite our best efforts with protective gear and high health and safety standards occasionally accidents do happen simply due to the full contact nature of the sport. We wish our Jeneral Strike a full and speedy recovery, and we would also like to thank ARRG, the officials, the EMTs and bout day crew who helped deal with a difficult situation calmly and professionally. 

Although injuries can occur from time to time days like today remind us that we are all one big family in roller derby. This is a sport where friends can compete against each other at the highest level and yet remain caring and encouraging; any rivalries on track disappear when that final whistle blows.

We don't have any pictures to show you from the early parts of the game today so instead here is a picture shared with us by GRD's own Hateball of the first GRD team to take on ARRG in 2009

 Glasgow Roller Girls' Irn Bruisers, 2009.

Glasgow Roller Girls' Irn Bruisers, 2009.

We're sure we'll see our neighbours from Auld Reekie back on track soon and can't wait to take them on! In the mean time, skate hard and take care of each other.

OMG did someone say Team Scotland Roller Derby?!

I've been accused of being overdramatic and communicating mostly in hyperbole before, though in my defence I am just that excitable and none of this is an act.

Imagine then how completely insufferably excited I was when I found out earlier this week that not one, not two, not even three but in fact SEVEN members of my very own roller derby team made it onto the training squad for Team Scotland Roller Derby for the World Cup in 2017? Lets just say that you're lucky you're not my cats because they had to be in a room with me when the news broke, and their little kitten brains are only just recovering from the experience*.

 Scotland Roller Derby's shiny new logo, courtesy of Interplanetary Print Syndicate.

Scotland Roller Derby's shiny new logo, courtesy of Interplanetary Print Syndicate.

I'll get to the point and keep the suspense up no longer, the seven from GRD who will be on the training squad are: Bruise Missile, Devil's Advoskate, Jess E Ska, Marshall Lawless, Mona Rampage, Phoenix Fatale & Shorty McLightning Pants! We're all so proud of them for making it through the selection process and can't wait to see where this journey takes them!

 The seven GRD players who made it onto the Scotland training squad.

The seven GRD players who made it onto the Scotland training squad.

And how impressive does the full training squad look? We're so pleased for them all and want to offer our congratulations to everyone who made it! Look out world because Scotland's coming for you in 2017!

 Just look at that talent - the just-announced full lineup of the Team Scotland Training Squad.

Just look at that talent - the just-announced full lineup of the Team Scotland Training Squad.

 

 

*no kittens were actually harmed in the writing of this blog.

Game Report : Home Teams Season 7 {T-Wrecks vs Bad Omens; T-Wrecks vs Death Stars}

The last outing for our home teams was in November, so they were well overdue an airing on Saturday! The first event in this year's home teams calendar saw the T-Wrecks taking on last year's champions, the Bad Omens, followed by the Death Stars. Lightsabers were dusted off, dinosaur masks acquired and the Omens practised their best crow impressions - there's nothing like a bit of intraleague rivalry!

 The poster for the Home Teams Season Opener - photos courtesy of Dave McAleavy.

The poster for the Home Teams Season Opener - photos courtesy of Dave McAleavy.

 

Game 1: Tyrannosaurus Wrecks vs Bad Omens

Taking to the track for the first time in a public game were Nitrojen for the T-Wrecks, and Katie Toerag, Sarah McGettigan, Spin Diesel and Tesla Recoil for the Bad Omens - they all did some spectacular things and we're proud of them all!

We were also glad to welcome some guest skaters from Ayrshire Roller Derby for the first game: Bambo and R2-Deck You, skating for the T-Wrecks. Also playing was the T-Wrecks' Rosalind Cracklin' who started fresh meat with GRD and now divides her time between Glasgow and Tel Aviv where she was integral to the set-up of their league!

Last year's winners the Bad Omens took an early lead, with the score at 18-23 in their favour after the first jam. They maintained their dominance until jam 4, when a fabulous effort from Sarah McMillan stacked on points for the T-Wrecks, resulting in a lead change ending the jam with the score 50-42. Six jams in, the T-Wrecks maintained their lead 69-46 and in jam 7 Bambo took full advantage of a power jam to take the score to 83-46 with up to three Bad Omens in the penalty box at various points during the jam. TW co-captain Jeneral Strike scored quickly in jam 9 and then called it, taking the scores to 91-46 and in jam 11 one of our newbies, Nitrojen, donned the star for a power jam and fought hard against tough opposition to squeeze out some points leaving the scores at 103-50. Shorty McLightning Pants jamming for the Bad Omens in jam 13 clearly did not suffer triskaidekaphobia and took lead jammer over Puma Thurman, got the points and called it to leave the half time score 107-70 to the T-Wrecks, despite a lovely spin noted by the commentators from Puma.

 Tyrannosaurus Wrecks' guest Bambo showing off her jamming skills against the Bad Omens.

Tyrannosaurus Wrecks' guest Bambo showing off her jamming skills against the Bad Omens.

The second half opened with the Bad Omens trailing by 37 points, and both teams meant business with two Irn Bruisers squaring up on the jam line - Sarah McMillan for the T-Wrecks and Shorty McLightning Pants for the Bad Omens. Shorty quickly took lead but ended up in the penalty bin twice; McMillan capitalised and piled on the points with the jam ending 132-70. Two skaters making their track debut, Tesla Recoil and Nitrojen, faced off against each other in jam 3 with Nitro working hard to eventually get lead with Recoil sent to the bin alongside several T-Wrecks; the jam ended 162-71. Jam 5 saw another newbie, Spin Diesel, jamming but unfortunately getting a forearms penalty as she fought to pass the last blocker, leaving Strike to get lead and take the score to 187-74. Multiple Bad Omens spent time in the penalty box in jam 8 but Thurman made hard work of jamming for the dinos with Stargrazer taking lead for the Omens and calling the jam at 201-81. Following a quick ninth jam, the T-Wrecks called for a team timeout to discuss which of the Jurassic Park films were their favourite (Ed - I favour the original!)

Jam 10 saw some fresh blood lining up to jam with Penny Pinch'er for the Omens and Mad Natter for the T-Wrecks featuring on the jam line - 28 seconds later it was all over 205-85. One of our guests, R2-Deck You, took a jam against Shorty for number eleven; Shorty got lead and took advantage of it for an impressive thirty points, breaking the 100-point barrier - 205-115. The following jam started with Puma Thurman and Penny Pinch'er with the stars - Puma took lead and gained fifteen points while Penny passed the star to BO captain Janie Bones; the jam ended 220-115. Some malign Bad Omens influence made the next jam (number 13, again) the last one of the game and saw Spin Diesel against Rosalind Cracklin' (in hilarious niche feminist/science jokes, my note-taker for the game has documented this as Spin vs Watson & Crick).

Final score: T-Wrecks 220 - 135 Bad Omens

Thanks to the bench staff for all their support: Beav Aggressive as LUM/bench manager for Bad Omens, and LUM Maw Deuce with bench manager Submarine for T-Wrecks.

Awards:

T-Wrecks
Best Blocker: Cara Viola 823
Best Jammer: Nitrojen 97
MVP: Mad Natter 3

Bad Omens
Best Blocker: Sadie O'Hades 311
Best Jammer: Spin Diesel 55
MVP: Shorty McLightning Pants 03

Game 2 : Tyrannosaurus Wrecks vs Death Stars

After a short break, the T-Wrecks were lining up again to face the fresh-faced, well-rested Death Stars and their evil Sith powers. Sarah McGettigan and Spin Diesel switched from the Bad Omens to guest for the T-Wrecks and the Death Stars had Bad Manders, Five Star Sylk, Roller Dobby, Sin Binner and Stripey guesting from Mean City Roller Derby.

 The Death Stars' talents are not restricted to skating; they possess some excellent cabaret skills too.

The Death Stars' talents are not restricted to skating; they possess some excellent cabaret skills too.

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, Marshall Lawless started off behind the jam line with TW co-captain Jeneral Strike; Lawless took the Death Stars to an early lead in jam 1 which ended 4-5 in favour of the Empire. The power of the dark side was evident again in jam 2, with Bruise Missile taking lead over Sarah McGettigan and calling it at 4-13. The third jam ended 7-13, and Sarah McMillan put some primordial pressure on the DS in jam 4 against Stripey; 11-13. The Death Stars pulled further ahead in jam 4 which finished 13-18 but the tide turned in favour of prehistory in jam 5: with Five Star Sylk sent to the bin, McGettigan seized lead for the TW and took full advantage of the power jam; lead change 38-18. The T-Wrecks' other guest Spin Diesel jammed next, against Bruise, and both scored points, taking it to 53-23. McMillan demonstrated the dominance of an apex predator in jam 8, ending at 62-23.

Following an official review, Strike took on Bruise for a few points each: 66-27. In jam 10, Lawless came tantalisingly close to getting lead, but cut track and got sent to the penalty box leaving Spin free to take lead and score points - despite being accidentally blocked by her teammate Puma Thurman! 72-36. Another official review, which wasn't upheld, preceded jam 11 in which TW's Nitrojen was sent off and lead jammer Stripey was made to earn every last point, calling it at a palindromic 74-47. In jam 12, Sylk took the lead against McMillan - the crowd went wild, but she was only able to add one point to the Death Stars' total, leaving the scoreline 74-48. The following jam ended with no-one gaining points as Bruise took lead but was nearly overtaken by Strike forcing her to call it. Phoenix Fatale landed a punishing hit on McGettigan in jam 14; the latter was then taken backwards round the track by Lawless jamming for DS, leaving a lot of people uncertain as to where she should re-enter the track on her minus-one pass. The confusion ended with the half time score static at 74-48.

Though the T-Wrecks maintained their lead for much of the first half, everyone was well aware that this could still be anyone's game with only 26 points between the teams. One good jam could change it all! McGettigan took the first jam of the half for TW against Bruise and was quickly sent off for a penalty. Bruise made it through the pack for lead jammer status, just as McGettigan re-entered the track, but was sent straight back off for cutting. 74-63. The dinosaurs started to feel the nerves as jam 2 opened as a power jam for Lawless who easily took lead - the TW star was passed to Strike and the jam ended 82-79.

Another official review to keep the officials on their toes was followed by jam 3, with a cameo from DS captain Haberbashery wearing her team's star. She took the lead but was then sent to the bin for a penalty; Strike made the Death Stars pay in the power jam, which ended 97-80. Spin jammed in the fourth but was dominated by Sylk's defense, 110-101. Jam 5 was a power jam for McMillan who then cut track, leaving it open for Bruise to score an easy few for the Death Stars, but McMillan brought it back with an apex jump - 123-110. Sylk took the lead in jam 6 against Strike but called it quickly for zero points all round. McMillan faced guest skater Stripey in number seven and dominated for the dinosaurs, 133-112.

Jam 8 took a while to warm up, with Lawless jamming for the DS eventually taking lead, but she was then overtaken by Strike who managed to score a few. 143-117. Strike jammed again in the ninth against Sylk; the former ended up in the penalty box but Sylk struggled to make her pay and the jam ended 143-118. Jam 10 then saw Bruise sent off early on for a back block, leaving a power jam for Puma who struggled against some awesome defense and was knocked off the inside twice and taken back. An exasperated Puma star passed to TW co-captain Shona Mercy who managed to score some; the jam ended 148-126.

The Death Stars then called a team timeout, presumably to discuss whether or not the prequels should really be considered part of the Star Wars franchise or if we should just never talk about them again. The debate clearly re-energised Lawless, who blasted through the pack in jam 11 against McMillan, but was then contained by the T-Wrecks' defense and called it 157-135.

Not wanting to feel left out, the T-Wrecks called a team timeout to consider the relative evolutionary disadvantage of having such tiny arms but concluded that size isn't everything. The twelfth and final jam of the game pitted Lawless against infrequent jammer Cara Viola - Lawless made it through first, but with a no-pass-no-penalty, leaving Cara to take lead jammer and, once time had expired, call off the jam for a T-Wrecks victory!

Final score: T-Wrecks 157 - 143 Death Stars

 They even just about managed to get all of the T-Wrecks in the same photo, without the use of a selfie stick! Just look how pleased they are at taking the win in both games.

They even just about managed to get all of the T-Wrecks in the same photo, without the use of a selfie stick! Just look how pleased they are at taking the win in both games.

Thanks to the bench staff for all their support: LUM Scara-Leigh and bench manager Trucks Norris for the Death Stars and the T-Wrecks bench staff unchanged from the first game.

Awards:

T-Wrecks
Best Blocker: Cara Viola 823
Best Jammer: Sarah McMillan 7
MVP: Jeneral Strike 789

Death Stars
Best Blocker: Phoenix Fatale 507
Best Jammer: Bruise Missile 77
MVP: Marshall Lawless 42

Thanks as always to everyone who made today possible - referees, non-skating officials, photographers, volunteers, stall holders, EMTs and everyone else. And to the crowd who came along and showed their support for all of the teams: it was a lovely atmosphere and we all had such a wonderful time!

If that's whetted your appetite for EVEN MORE ROLLER DERBY, then keep an eye on our Events Page for more info on some Edinburgh-based fun in early August or some home games at the end of the same month. And if you've picked a side in the eternal battle between the home teams then you've got until the end of June to take advantage of the 10% discount off the relevant merch in our online store - and why not treat yourself to other GRD goodness while you're there?!

For now, we're signing off for a well-earned fortnight of rest for the league - see you on the other side!

#ThrowbackThursday: Home Teams Season 1!

You're in for a treat this weekend: we're holding our first home teams games of the season on Saturday and you're all invited! The T-Wrecks will be lining up to face the Death Stars and the Bad Omens to see just what they can do with those tiny little arms against lightsabers and witchcraft. Tickets are £6 in advance from here or £8 on the door.

As we prepare to open our 2016 Home Teams season I thought it'd be a good time to look back to five years ago when it all began. At that time we had the Irn Bruisers and the Maiden Grrders and we did play some intraleague games too, but late in 2010 an idea formed; we wanted to have a public tournament to showcase our skills and get a little bit of competition going within the league.

There were three teams to begin with: Bad Omens, Death Stars and Hell's Belles. The Tyrannosaurus Wrecks first featured in the 2013 Home Teams season (it takes significantly longer to reanimate a dinosaur than it does to attract the attention of The Empire or to summon demons and witches apparently).

 GRD's Bad Omens, Death Stars, Hell's Belles and Tyrannosaurus Wrecks - which one is your favourite?

GRD's Bad Omens, Death Stars, Hell's Belles and Tyrannosaurus Wrecks - which one is your favourite?

The first Home Teams season began on 19 February 2011, and the final was contested on May 7th. This saw the Death Stars facing up to the Bad Omens - they had both beaten the Hell's Belles and seemed evenly matched. It was difficult to predict whether the malevolent Sith powers would prove a match for some older women standing round a cauldron chanting about toil and trouble!

 The poster for the first Home Teams Final, between the Death Stars and the Bad Omens, featuring Jess E Ska & Cara VIola.

The poster for the first Home Teams Final, between the Death Stars and the Bad Omens, featuring Jess E Ska & Cara VIola.

In the end the Dark Side was defeated and the misunderstood women took the win home in their oversized cooking pot to their cats: Death Stars 87 - 162 Bad Omens.

But that's only part of the story - it remains to be decided who won the skateouts! Check out the video below. Yes, there's a choir. Yes, a certain Sith lord and his henchmen make an appearance. Yes, it is absolutely brilliant! Come along on Saturday for more silliness and roller derby, and if you want to show your support for your favourite team then there's a discount in our online store until the end of the month on home teams merch: use the code GRDHOMETEAMS at the checkout. Pick up something else nice for yourself while you're in there!

Spotlight on Sponsors: Euro Hostel Glasgow

Here at Glasgow we love it when people come to our games, especially if they've travelled from far and wide to see us. That's why we're especially delighted to introduce to you our fantastic new sponsors, Euro Hostel Glasgow

 You too could stay in a room like this! GRD checks out the dorm room facilities at EH! Glasgow.

You too could stay in a room like this! GRD checks out the dorm room facilities at EH! Glasgow.

Euro Hostel Glasgow is located on Clyde Street just a block away from Central Station in one direction and St Enoch's Underground Station in another, which puts them in the perfect location for access to all the glories Glasgow has to offer. 

Not only do they offer comfortable rooms at great prices but they are a mere 19 minutes walk from The ARC Sports Centre, the venue for our Home Teams Season Opener and many other games throughout the year. Great news for derby fans across the country! Check out the handy dandy map that'll get you directly from EH! to ARC.

There are even luxury VIP suites available which are perfect for a whole team to stay in together; imagine travelling up on your coach and taking care of all your accommodation in one go! No awkward drop offs, no need for complicated meeting places - you're already together in one budget-friendly spot. Oh, and did we mention the free WIFI? Essential for all #teamselfies of course. Sound good? Visit Euro Hostel Glasgow's group page to find out more. 

But that's not all! They also have smaller private rooms, dorms and even a bar and restaurant on the premises so it's great for travelling alone or with small groups of friends and family too. We hope that next time you visit us here in the Dear Green Place you'll check out Euro Hostels, for a budget stay - your way.  

Stefanie Mainey bootcamp

This weekend we had the absolute honour of hosting Stefanie Mainey of London Rollegirls for an intermediate skills bootcamp. 

image.jpg

In five very intense hours, a group of skaters from leagues far and wide learned how to be a more solid blocker, nippier jammer and all-round more awesome person to be with on a roller derby track.  

 Tired but happy skaters after a fab session with Stef Mainey. 

Tired but happy skaters after a fab session with Stef Mainey. 

Thanks to everyone who came along and worked so hard, to all those who arranged the event and above all, to Stef Mainey for imparting some of her roller derby skills and knowledge to us! 

If you want to check out some of what our league members learned, we'll be heading off to Manchester on June 11 to play Tiger Bay Brawlers and Rainy City Roller Derby. Or, if you fancy something closer to home, the first home teams game of the year is coming up on June 18! 

Queeriosity strikes again!

First came the Drag Party 1 & 2, then this fabulous bedazzled beast morphed into Queeriosity - now with Haberbashery & Prawn knocking out some of the best tunes of the 90s! Who knew how well Alanis Morrisette went with B*Witched and the Venga Boys?!

 Prawn and Habs, providers of quality music and entertainment.

Prawn and Habs, providers of quality music and entertainment.

There were glowsticks, a hula hoop, plenty of dungarees and more grunge than you could shake a stick at! It fast became apparent that some of us could get a degree in All Saints lyrics and enthusiastic dancing and the tunes just kept on coming!

Thanks are due to all the volunteers who made this event possible - from setting up, stocking the bar, staffing the event and not forgetting our talented DJs! We're grateful, as always, to the Garnethill Multicultural Centre staff for letting us use their space.

 I told you there were glowsticks.

I told you there were glowsticks.

But don't be too sad if you missed it - there's another one planned for August (details to follow) & you too could be part of the awesomeness that is Queeriosity. We aim to provide lots of fun, good times and tunes, and most importantly a safe space for everyone to enjoy themselves. Why not come along next time and see for yourself?

Skating but not as we know it

On Wednesday, our training session was cancelled because of a minor event the next day (some sort of election?), meaning our usual hall was otherwise occupied. Apparently, someone thinks that roller derby isn't as important as the democratic rights of the people. Pfft!

A group of us decided that no one - not even Nicola Sturgeon - could stop us getting our skates on, and we headed to Unit 23 Skatepark in Dumbarton.

 Team Skatepark, consisting of Janie Bones, Mad Natter, Puma Thurman, Shona Mercy, Mona Rampage, Jen Fleming, Marshall Lawless and Sarah McMillan.

Team Skatepark, consisting of Janie Bones, Mad Natter, Puma Thurman, Shona Mercy, Mona Rampage, Jen Fleming, Marshall Lawless and Sarah McMillan.

A few of us had never been to a skatepark before, and there was some initial trepidation about the existence of non-flat skating surfaces, but everyone soon got stuck in! Very quickly we were all pushing our boundaries, whether that was dropping into the biggest bowl LIKE A BOSS or just trying out some of the smaller ramps.

 Shona Mercy & Marshall Lawless sporting some GRD merchandise while contemplating the next ramp

Shona Mercy & Marshall Lawless sporting some GRD merchandise while contemplating the next ramp

Unit 23 is a fab venue for skating and we'll definitely be back! If you want to see more of the action, head over to our Instagram where you'll find video evidence of us nailing it (and the times it didn't quite work out!).

 Sometimes things don't quite go to plan, and you end up lying on the floor trying to figure what to do differently the next time!

Sometimes things don't quite go to plan, and you end up lying on the floor trying to figure what to do differently the next time!

We hope to see you back on flatter ground on the 21st of May to watch the Maiden Grrders facing up to Blackpool Roller Derby. Get your tickets online here or on the door. It's going to be a good one! And if you like any of the GRD merchandise modelled so wonderfully in these photos, check out our shop for some old classics or our newest pins and patches.

Queeriosity #2: 90's Night

Come as you are, as you were, or as you'd want to be to our 90s themed fundraiser night tomorrow!

 Image courtesy of  Nuclaire Art . 

Image courtesy of Nuclaire Art

It's not too late to get advance tickets for £2 from our website , or just £3 on the door (free for asylum seekers and refugees).

 "But just what delights will I get for my hard-earned cash?!" I hear you cry! We'll have Habs & Prawn playing some of the finest 90s tunes ever heard, in a space where everyone is welcome AND there's a bar. It's going to start early and end at midnight, so perfect for a pre-club warmup if you so desire.

From personal experience of past events, expect to dance until your feet feel like they might fall off but have no regrets (even if everyone finds out you know every word ever sung by the Backstreet Boys).

All the money raised goes straight back into GRD, allowing us to continue being the best we can be & is partly used to arrange future events.

Speaking of which, our Maiden Grrders take on Blackpool Roller Derby on 21 May & you could be there taking in all the action! And did you know that we're hosting a boot camp with the one & only Stefanie Mainey from London Roller Girls on 22 May?! Get your ticket now or regret it! 

#ThrowbackThursday : Riots Of Spring

The sport of roller derby is constantly evolving - from its start in the roller marathons of the 1880s, to a more recognisable contact sport on roller skates in the 1930s, to the game we play today. The WFTDA rules set is constantly updated to improve the game (and to give me the fear every time our annual rules test comes round, I suspect). Even the language we use has changed: they're not bouts any more, we play games and we're no longer the Glasgow Roller Girls, we're Glasgow Roller Derby.

It occurred to me that it would be good to have a look back through GRD's past, and for my first in this series of nostalgic posts I've jumped way back to a time of themed bouts, fishnets and mini-kilts: GRG's first ever bout on March 29 2008.

 The poster for the  Riots of Spring  bout between London Rollergirls and Glasgow Roller Girls, 29 March 2008.

The poster for the Riots of Spring bout between London Rollergirls and Glasgow Roller Girls, 29 March 2008.

At that time, we were a one-team league and the Irn Bruisers made the long trip down south to face up to London Brawling. It was a tough game against a more experienced side and ended in defeat for the Bruisers (featuring some guest skaters from Birmingham Blitz Dames, Central City Rollergirls and London Roller Girls) with a final score of 163-31 to Brawling. While it wasn't a happy ending, I'm sure it was a great learning experience and I love that LRG's bout report includes comment on the band, Earl Grey & The Tea Ladies, who played at half time!

Something else which has changed: these days we just give awards to the Best Jammer, Best Blocker and MVP but back in the day we also celebrated Penalty Queen (it really is what it sounds like!) - Bette Noir for LRG and Jaci Dodger for GRG.

This is to be the first in an ongoing series of blog posts on GRD history - I've only just started digging and have struck gold with some absolutely brilliant old photos, videos and posters - so keep checking back for more!

If future events are more your thing, check out our Events Page to see what's coming up.